Getting Past Gambling

24/7 Online Help/Support/Counselling available-Australia

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 08:26:00 +0000

http://www.gamblinghelponline.org.au/

Sometimes thinking about a gambling issue is hard. Making a decision on what to do next can be as difficult as knowing when to walk away. Our counsellors know about gambling.

'Talk' to someone online now about your decision to change, or even if you are just thinking about your options.

If you want more time to think about your question, you can use the email service. Even if you want to do it by yourself, we can provide support, someone to run ideas past or strategies for sticking to your goals.

ENOUGH!

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 08:20:00 +0000

A time comes in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes
you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening.

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh,what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive,how and where you should live, and what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard
the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power
and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship.

You learn that you will not be, more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love.... and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your
terms... just to make you happy. And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely...

You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK.... and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his touch... and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn, that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve... and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time... FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get
what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening.

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to building bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your
window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God (whatever you believe him/her to be) by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

-- AUTHOR UNKNOWN

20 Life Improving Principles

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 01:51:00 +0000

1. Don’t be a sheep. Baaah. Oh yes, the enormity of conformity; it permeates every corner of our society. Sometimes in our desperation to fit in, to belong and to avoid rocking the boat, we lose us. If you’re part of a group (organisation, company, church, team, gang, club) that discourages independent thought, freedom of expression or a contrary opinion, start running and don’t look back. Think for yourself. Learn your own truth. Be your own person.

2. Make the hard decisions. Some of us have spent years perfecting the skill (yep, it’s a skill) of not making the decisions we should. You know what I mean. And by the way, by not making a decision, you are making a decision.

3. Be a treasure hunter; consciously find (and appreciate) the good in your world. If you’re determined to find (and focus on) the negative, you will. And many people do. For me, the misery mindset has never been a particularly attractive option.

4. Choose your attitude every morning. It’s kind of liberating and empowering to know that a good or bad day is completely in our control and that while the happenings in our world might influence us, they don’t need to determine us.

5. Be proactive, not reactive. A person who spends their life being reactive not proactive is always playing catch up, is rarely happy or fulfilled and will never maximise their potential. Wouldn’t you prefer to be the Captain of your ship rather than the deck hand?

6. Seek to be wealthy, not rich. The kind of wealth I’m talking about here is all encompassing and may or may not have anything to do with money. That depends on you. People who are emotionally, socially, mentally, physically and spiritually wealthy have a distinct advantage over their counterparts whose entire life focus has been about building a bank balance and accumulating assets. And yes, it’s possible to be wealthy and rich; they need not be mutually exclusive.

7. Don’t hang out with toxic people. Spend enough time with toxic people and pretty soon you’ll be one. Their crappy attitude, pessimism, self-pity, negative language and their ability to ‘find the bad’ is contagious. If swine flue is your only alternative, take it; it’s less harmful.

8. Don’t let your past become your future. Unless you want it to, of course. If you want to create different results, do different things. If you want to step out of your own version of Groundhog Day, then stop hoping things will work out and start doing what you need to. It really ain’t that complex.

9. Strive for improvement not perfection. Perfection is a myth and a very destructive pursuit. It doesn’t exist – not in human form anyway – yet strangely, we are obsessed with it.

10. Don’t become your parents. By all means love them, appreciate them, respect them and learn from them but please don’t be them. It’s kinda creepy. And sad.

11. Under-promise and over-deliver. A great principle for business and for life in general; unlike many people who talk the talk and then deliver donuts. Zippo. Nada.

12. Don’t eat what you don’t need. Crazy concept I know. Imagine if we actually gave our body what it needed rather than giving it what our mind wants. What obesity epidemic?

13. Don’t rely on Motivation. Like all emotional states, motivation is temporary. It comes and goes. Kind of like flatulence. The person who only does what he should be doing when he is ‘motivated’ will never succeed over the long term because when the (feeling of) motivation subsides (and it always does) so too will the (change) behaviours. This is the time when our ‘non-negotiable’ behaviours should come into play – the ones that keep us doing what we need to, even when we don’t feel like it.

14. Do what scares you. Control your fear or it will control you. Within reason of course. I’m not suggesting that you run in front of a truck any time soon, but I am suggesting that you stop always choosing the easy, comfortable, convenient and safe (but ultimately unfulfilling and unrewarding) path. What scares us teaches us.

15. Stop looking for approval and permission. You’re big now; you don’t need it.

16. Don’t give away your personal power. You’ve done that for long enough.

17. Deal with problems quickly. Minor challenges become monumental problems (in our mind) if we wait long enough.

18. Learn to control your internal environment. Being as we do most of our ‘living’ in our head, it’s in our interest to make it a nice place to inhabit.

19. Ask the right questions. You know those questions; the ones that put you in a productive, positive, creative and solution-focused head space.

20. Be adaptable. Easier said than done but definitely something we need to develop. Living in a dynamic world along side unpredictable people in an ever-changing environment and situation means that adaptability is a prerequisite for the would-be success story.

So which of the above principles resonate for you? Feel free to add your own number 21…. 22, 23…

http://www.craigharper.com.au/self-improvement/twenty-life-improving-principles/

ENOUGH

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 22:10:00 +0000

A time comes in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening.

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK.
(They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh,what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive,how and where you should live, and what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard
the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship.

You learn that you will not be, more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love.... and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms... just to make you happy. And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely...

You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK.... and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his touch... and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn, that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve... and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time... FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening.

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to building bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful
and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God (whatever you believe him/her to be) by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

-- AUTHOR UNKNOWN
(But dearly appreciated)

WISDOM OF THE ROOMS

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:13:00 +0000

"Recovery is the only place where you can walk into a room full of strangers and reminisce."

When I began going to meetings, I remember how uncomfortable it was being around so many people that I didn't know. As soon as they found out I was new, many of them came up to me and gave me their phone numbers, asked me how I was doing, and wanted to know all kinds of things I that didn't want to tell them. It was all pretty overwhelming.

As I sat and listened to people's shares, I was pretty sure I didn't belong because I hadn't done half the stuff I was hearing. That's when my sponsor told me I hadn't done them 'yet'. He asked me if I identified with the other half, and I admitted I could. He suggested I looked for the ways I was the same, rather than the ways I was different.

It's amazing how that little piece of advice has changed my life. Now, no matter what part of the world I'm in, I can always find a part of myself in the strangers I meet in the rooms of recovery. Even if I don't know you personally, I know I can identify with many of your experiences and with the way you feel and think.

This is what allows strangers like us to start reminiscing the first time we ever meet.

Visit: http://www.theWisdomoftheRooms.com

DAILY REFLECTIONS

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:04:00 +0000

AUGUST 10 Reflection for the Day

We've been our own worst enemies most of our lives, and we've often injured ourselves seriously as a result of a "justified" resentment over a slight wrong. Doubtless there are many causes for resentment in the world, most of them providing "justification." But we can never begin to settle all the world's grievances or even arrange things so as to please everybody. If we've been treated unjustly by others or simply by life itself, we can avoid compounding the difficulty by completely forgiving the persons involved and abandoning the destructive habit of reviewing our hurts and humiliations.

Can I believe that yesterday's hurt is today's understanding, rewoven into tomorrow's love?

Today I Pray
Whether I am unjustly treated or just think I am, may I try not to be a resentful person, stewing over past injuries. Once I have identified the root emotion behind my resentment, may I be big enough to forgive the person involved and wise enough to forget the whole thing.

Today I Will Remember
Not all injustice can be fixed.

AUGUST 11 Reflection for the Day

When I dwell on piddling things that annoy me--and they sprout resentments that grow bigger and bigger like weeds--I forget how I could be stretching my world and broadening my outlook. For me, that's an ideal way to shrink troubles down to their real size. When somebody or something is causing me trouble, I should try to see the incident in relation to the rest of my life--especially the part that's good and for which I should be grateful.

Am I willing to waste my life worrying about trifles that drain my spiritual energy?

Today I Will Remember
Microscopic irritations can ruin my vision.

AUGUST 9 Reflection for the Day
On numerous occasions, I've found that there's a strong connection between my fears and my resentments. If I secretly fear that I'm inadequate, for example, I'll tend to resent deeply anybody whose actions or words expose my imagined inadequacy. But it's usually too painful to admit that my own fears and doubts about myself are the cause of my resentments. It's a lot easier to pin the blame on somone else's "bad behavior" or "selfish motives"--and use that as the justification for my resentments.

Do I realize that by resenting someone, I allow that person to live rent-free in my head?

Today I Will Remember
As I build myself up, I tear down my resentments.

AUGUST 8 Reflection for the Day
As a recovering compulsive gambler, I have to remind myself that no amount of social acceptance of resentments will take the poison out of them. In a way, the problem of resentments is very much like the gambling problem. A poker game or casino is never safe for me. I've attended benefits for worthy causes, often in a convivial atmosphere that makes gambling seem almost harmless.

Just as I politely but adamantly decline gambling under any conditions, will I also refuse to accept resentments?

Today I Pray

When anger, hurt, fear, or guilt--to be socially acceptable--put on their polite, party manners, dress up as resentments, and come in the side door, may I not hobnob with them. These emotions, disguised as they are, can be as full of trickery as gambling itself.

Today I Will Remember

Keep an eye on the side door.

AUGUST 7 Reflection for the Day
What can we do about our resentments? Experience has shown that the best thing to do is to write them down, listing people, institutions, or principles that are objects of our anger or resentment. When I write down my resentments and then ask myself why I'm resentful, I've discovered that in most cases my self-esteem, my finances, my ambitions, or my personal relationships have been hurt or threatened.

Will I ever learn that the worst thing about my resentments is my endless rehearsal of my acts of retribution?

Today I Will Remember
Resentments cause violence: resentments cause illness in nonviolent people.

AUGUST 6 Reflection for the Day
Sometimes through bitter experience and painful lessons, we learn in our fellowship with others in Gamblers Anonymous that resentment is our number one enemy. It destroys more of us than anything else. From resentment stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we've been not only mentally and physically ill, but spiritually ill as well. As we recover and as our spiritual illness is remedied, we become well physically and mentally.

Am I aware that few things are more bitter than to feel bitter? Do I see that my venom is more poisonous to me than to my victim?

Today I Will Remember
Resentments are rubbish; haul them away.

WHY DO WE CLING TO OUR ADDICTIONS?

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 04:51:00 +0000

Addictions often begin as a pursuit of pleasure to numb the discomfort of painful losses.

Addictions are not just diversions of choice. We see them as lifeboats necessary for our survival. Addictions give us something we believe we must have in order to live. They provide predictable relief and power in an unpredictable and painful world.

THE PURSUIT OF RELIEF.
When faced with a loss of health, when haunted by harm done to others, when hounded by the rejection of a parent or spouse, it is natural for us to try to relieve the pain. We hate feeling guilty, disconnected, empty, and alone. We long for acceptance and love. Our addictions provide a remedy that helps us to forget the pain--at least for a little while.

Alcoholism drowns sorrow. Drug addiction turns lows to highs. Compulsive overeating fills our emptiness. Obsessive work replaces insecurities with a sense of accomplishment. Sexual addiction mimics adventure and intimacy.

Addictions often begin as a pursuit of pleasure to numb the discomfort of painful losses. But we soon discover that addictions multiply the pain. In time, it becomes worse than the pain we were trying to relieve. Now we find ourselves needing relief not only from our inescapable losses but also from the shame of our own foolishness. We feel shame for trusting in addictive behavior that made our problem worse.

Shame, however, is also a deceiver. In the beginning, pleasure holds us in the addiction. In time, shame has the same effect. In their own ways, both are deceptively effective pain relievers. Pleasure is a filler; shame is a killer. Pleasure is a distracter; shame is an assassin. Both attach to our addictions. Both combine with our obsessions to numb our hearts not only to the harm we are doing to others but also to our own longing for love and relationship.

Ironically, shame ends up being even more useful than pleasure in providing relief from our pain. Shame causes us to feel unworthy to give and receive love. Shame deadens our longings for relationship. Shame becomes a powerful pain killer not merely by lessening our pain but by deadening our hearts until we feel nothing at all.

When our hearts are deadened, we don't hurt. We don't long to give and receive love. Neither are we able to feel the harm we are doing to others. Yet using our addiction and its resulting shame to feel nothing seems preferable to bearing the sorrows of life.

THE PURSUIT OF POWER.
Addictions also provide an illusion of control. They are like private magic carpets that transport us into a world where we seem to be in charge. They provide a predictable way of changing the way we feel about ourselves and others.

Addictions provide us with predictable moments we can count on, while giving us the illusion of control. While people and circumstances are beyond our control, our addictions deliver on their promise of comfort, pleasure, power, control--now. By refusing to eat, by purging what we have eaten, by using our work to attain recognition, by making another purchase, we feel power rather than helplessness.

Addictions are attractive because they appear to provide predictable doses of relief and power in the midst of pain and helplessness. But in reality they are a house of mirrors, promising us freedom and then trapping us with little hope of escape. The effect is always self-destructive bondage.

What we find out too late is that in exchange for relief and control, our addictions master us. Even though we tell ourselves we have everything under control, experience tells us otherwise. We'd quit if we could. But we have become a slave to our own desires. We want our addiction more than we want to quit. We believe we need and deserve the relief and the power our addiction provides.

At some point, we are forced to choose between our addiction and those who love us. We know what we desperately want. We don't want to lose those we love. But we don't know how we could survive without the "friend" that is destroying us. We feel trapped in an addictive cycle.

WHAT IS THE ADDICTIVE CYCLE?

As we lose more and more of ourselves to our addiction, our pleasure decreases. Moments of relief are replaced by lingering shame. We feel guilty for having a habit that is socially unacceptable. We are afraid of being discovered. In turn, we resolve to quit, or to make amends for our failures, hoping it will lessen our feelings of guilt and shame. But it never does. We may have temporarily swept our lives clean of the addiction and its unpleasant feelings, but nothing has replaced it. As a result, we are more acutely aware of our emptiness. Feelings of disillusionment and despair set in, and once again we begin to demand relief. Our demand for relief draws us back into the familiar arms of our habit.

This cycle is played out again and again with deepening levels of dissatisfaction, disillusionment, despair, and enslavement.

Myths and Facts

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 02:44:00 +0000

	How can we change public opinion and get rid of the stigma surrounding addiction? We can start by learning the difference between the real facts and common myths about addiction:

	Myth: A person addicted to drugs or gambling can stop whenever he or she wants. Fact: Addiction is a chronic brain disease that has little to do with willpower. Research shows that long-term alcohol, substance use or gambling changes a person’s brain function, which makes them crave the substance even more. As a result, most people with an alcohol, substance use, or gambling problem need help at one time or another. People are able to cut down or stop their problematic use in many ways including through the use of formal treatment, counseling, self-help groups, support of others and their faith.

	Myth: Treatment of addiction doesn’t work and is too expensive. Fact: Treatment works for the addicted person and it works for society. Different types of addiction treatment are successful between 40 and 60 percent of the time. This success rate is similar to the treatment success rate for other conditions like asthma, high blood pressure and diabetes. For those involved in the criminal justice system, addiction treatment has been shown to decrease criminal activity after treatment. Many studies show for every $1 spent on addiction treatment as much as $7 is saved in healthcare, welfare, criminal justice and other public costs.

	Myth: A person can’t be helped until they’ve “hit bottom.” Fact: Many people with substance use or gambling problems can get help before they’ve developed a full blown addiction or “hit bottom.” This is why early screening and intervention services are so important. Family members, friends, healthcare providers or employers can play a role by sharing concerns and asking someone with a problem to seek treatment.

	Myth: There should be one treatment program for all addictions. Fact: Not every treatment method works for everyone. The most effective programs take into account the individual needs of each person and make thorough assessments about someone’s current circumstances and level of addiction.

	Myth: If a person is motivated to stop, they should be able to complete drug abuse treatment in a short period of time. Fact: Studies show for many a successful road to recovery includes follow-up supervision and support long after the treatment program is completed. People who remain in treatment programs for at least 90 days are more likely to remain substance-free than those who do not.

	Myth: Relapse equals failure. Fact: Recovery is a long process and sometimes relapse is a very real part of that process. Many things can trigger a relapse: stress at work or home, taking part in a social function that includes substance use, or even smells or familiar people and objects associated with the addiction. But people who relapse can and do recover.

DAILY GURU

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Sun, 25 May 2008 21:28:00 +0000

Appreciation

"You can never get to peace and inner security without first acknowledging all of the good things in your life. If you're forever wanting and longing for more without first appreciating things the way they are, you'll stay in discord."

-- Doc Childre and Howard Martin

Develop an attitude of gratitude. We discover a sense of wholeness as we appreciate both the small and big things in our lives. And it really helps to remember to appreciate ourselves. Appreciation is more than just acceptance -- it's respect and admiration. Let go of criticism and self-abuse.

"Generally, appreciation means some blend of thankfulness, admiration, approval, and gratitude. In the financial world, something that ‘appreciates’ grows in value. With the power tool of appreciation, you get the benefit of both perspectives: as you learn to be consistently thankful and approving, your life will grow in value."

-- Doc Childre and Howard Martin

DAILY REFLECTION

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Sun, 25 May 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Getting over years of suspicion and other self - protective mechanisms can hardly be an overnight process. We've become thoroughly conditioned to feeling and acting misunderstood and unloved - whether we really were or not. Some of us may need time and pratice to break out of our shell and the seemingly comfortable familiarity of solitude. Even though we begin to believe and know we're no longer alone, we tend to sometimes feel and act in the old ways.

Am I taking it easy? Am I learning to wear the Gamblers Anonymous Program and life like a loose garment?

Today I Pray

May I expect no sudden, total reversal of all my old traits. My abstinence from gambling is just a beginning. May I realize that the symptons of my compulsion will wear off gradually. If I slip back, now and then, into my old self - pity bag or my grandiosity, may I not be discouraged, but grateful. At last, I can face myself honestly and not let my delusions get the best of me.

Today I Will Remember

Easy does it.

DAILY GURU

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Sat, 24 May 2008 04:58:00 +0000

Life as a mirror

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."

-- C.G. Jung

We get clues about our unconscious programming if we watch our reactions, responses, feelings and thoughts about other people and events. Ask yourself: How do I judge or stereotype people? What pushes my buttons? What makes me angry or fearful or sad?

The outer incidents that trigger these reactions in me simply MIRROR my own nature. If I didn't have beliefs around the issues that upset me, where would my reactions come from? If I didn't have some internal reference, I wouldn't react at all.

When outer events spark a reaction, we need to look inside to explore what’s going on.

"We discover in ourselves what others hide from us and we recognize in others what we hide from ourselves."

-- Vauvenargues

Quote of the Week

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Wed, 21 May 2008 00:05:00 +0000

Fits into gambling relapse also:

"Relapse begins a long time before you pick up that first drink or drug."

I'm a three meeting minimum a week kind of guy. Anything below that and I begin feeling, well, kind of vulnerable. Oh, not that I'm going to pick up and use, but vulnerable to what my head tells me, and vulnerable to feeling more irritable, restless and discontented. I'm quicker to judge, and I begin storing resentments.

After a few weeks of that, it begins to get harder to make even two meetings a week. Soon I'm not answering my phone very much and calling my sponsor doesn't even occur to me. Work pressures mount, and on the way home you're not driving fast enough, and the parking lot is full, and Blockbuster doesn't have the movie I want. Suddenly the world is out of whack, and the idea of a drink seems not only natural, but completely reasonable as well.

I can't tell you the number of times I've heard people who relapse tell a story similar to the one above. It always scares the heck out of me because there have been times when I've begun to go down that same path. Thank God for my commitments, a strong support group, regular meetings I look forward to, and sponsees who continue to call me.

Today I have four meetings a week I go to - whether I need them or not - because I want to keep the distance between me a relapse as far apart as possible.

___________________________________

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Question your intention

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Mon, 19 May 2008 21:32:00 +0000

"Men are more accountable for their motives, than for anything else ...."

-- Archibald Alexander

Why are you doing what you are doing?

Throughout the day, continually ask yourself about your underlying motivation. Are you doing what you are doing for selfish, manipulative or fearful reasons, or in honest service? Maybe you will see that much of your activity lacks purpose. This is a great way to become more conscious.

Your intention and motives are fundamental to the results you receive. Set high intentions and your life will blossom.

"A good intention clothes itself with power."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Reflection for the Day

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Sun, 18 May 2008 21:09:00 +0000

I considered myself a "loner" in the days when I was gambling. Although I was often with other people--saw them, heard them, touched them--most of my important dialogues were with my inner self. I was certain that nobody else would ever understand. Considering my former opinion of myself, it's likely that I didn't want anybody to understand. I smiled through gritted teeth even as I was dying on the inside.

Have my insides begun to match my outside since I've been in the Gamblers Anonymous Program?

Today I Pray
May my physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual selves become one, a whole person again. I thank my Higher Power for showing me how to match my outside to my inside, to laugh when I feel like laughing, to cry when I feel sad, to recognize my own anger or fear or guilt. I pray for wholeness.

Today I Will Remember
I am becoming whole.

Daily Guru

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Tue, 13 May 2008 21:24:00 +0000

MAKE CHANGE A POSITIVE PART OF YOUR LIFE

You must avoid breaking when things don't go your way.
You'll always be secure to the degree that you accept change.
True security comes from being able to bend your insecurities.

Recognize and accept that change will inevitably take place.
You'll become secure, not by standing still, but by growing,
moving, and staying energized.
Be secure in the knowledge that you can deal with anything
that happens to you.

Have the courage to bet on your ideas.
Take some calculated risks and act on your dreams.
There is no permanent security on this earth, there is only opportunity.

www.thedailyguru.com

Reflection for the Day

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Tue, 13 May 2008 13:05:00 +0000

When a person wakes up each morning and rises, with nerves screaming and sick at heart, to face frightening reality; when a person stumbles through the day in a pit of despair, wishing to die, but refusing to die; when a person gets up the next day and does it all over again--well, that takes guts. That takes a kind of real, basic survival courage, a courage that can be put to good use if that person ever finds his or her way to Gamblers Anonymous. That person has learned courage the hard way, and when that person comes to the GA Program, he or she will find new and beautiful ways to use it.

Have I the courage to keep trying, one day at a time?

Today I Pray
May I put the "guts-to-survive" kind of courage left over from my gambling days into good use in the Program. If I was able to "hang on" enough to live through the miseries of my addiction, may I translate that same will to survive into my recovery program. May I use my courage in new, constructive ways.

Daily Guru

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Mon, 12 May 2008 21:27:00 +0000

EVERY FAILURE IS A STEP CLOSER TO SUCCESS

People who try to do something and fail
are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.
Experiencing failure is inevitable on your journey to be successful.
Every defeat is merely an installment to victory.

You'll find that the number of times you succeed is in direct proportion
to the number of times you fail and keep trying.
You won't be judged by the number of times you fail,
but by the number of times you succeed.

Failure is nothing but education,
nothing but the first step to something better.

*************************************
©2006 by Max Steingart
Reproduce freely but maintain © notice
*************************************

Reflection for the Day

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Mon, 12 May 2008 21:20:00 +0000

My courage must come each day, as does my desire to avoid a single bet, a single addictive act. It must be a continuing courage, without deviations and procrastination, without rashness, and without fear of obstacles. this would seem like a large order indeed, were it not for the fact that it is confined to this one day, and that within this day much power is given to me.

Do I extend the Serenity Prayer to my entire life?

Today I Pray

May each new morning offer me a supply of courage to last me during the day. If my courage is renewed each day and I know that I need just a day's worth, that courage will always be fresh and the supply will not run out. May I realize, as days pass, that what I feared during the earliest days of my recovery I no longer fear, that my daily courage is now helping me cope with bigger problems.

Today I Will Remember

..... give me courage - just for today.

Wisdom of the Rooms

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Mon, 12 May 2008 21:17:00 +0000

"The program does for us slowly what (gambling) alcohol and drugs did for us quickly."

I can clearly remember what I felt like before recovery. I was anxious, on edge, so uncomfortable with my life that I wanted and needed to escape. I can also remember the immediate sense of ease and comfort that came from the first hit of my drugs or alcohol. Suddenly, everything was OK, and the future actually had some hope in it.

This was my solution for a long time, and when it stopped working, I was truly at a jumping off point. In the beginning of my recovery, meetings and fellowship offered me temporary relief from the near constant dread and anxiety I felt. The problem was how to get by in between meetings, and I'll tell you, it was rough going for quite a while.

And that's when I heard someone share that "we go to meetings for relief, but we work the steps for recovery." As I worked my program, I found this to be true. The relief and sense of ease and comfort I used to get through using now began to be part of my everyday experience. After a while, I actually had peace and serenity and most of the time felt comfortable in my own skin.

One day I realized that the program had done for me slowly what drugs and alcohol had done for me quickly.

Visit:
http://www.theWisdomoftheRooms.com

Reflection for the Day

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Mon, 12 May 2008 14:16:00 +0000

Do I extend the Serenity Prayer to my entire life?

Today I Pray

Today I Will Remember

God give me courage - just for today.

Wisdom of the Rooms

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Mon, 12 May 2008 03:10:00 +0000

"Things aren't necessarily going wrong just because they're not going my way."

This is still hard for me to accept. My ego tells me that my plans and ideas about how things should go, and how you should act, are 99% right, and that if everybody would just fall in line, then everything would be great and I'd be happy. But how many times has my self will twisted or bullied things into place and got me what I thought I wanted, when I'd eventually realize it wasn't what I wanted? Most of the time is the short answer.

There's an old gypsy curse that goes, "May you get everything you want." Once again, my ego hears that and says, "That doesn't sound like a curse!" but my experience understands the wisdom in it. And one of the gifts I've received in recovery is the willingness to pray for the knowledge of God's will (not mine) and the power to carry that out.

And that's when the miracle truly happens for me and countless others. You see, the wants and needs of my ego are limited and short sighted. But God's will is vast and includes infinite possibilities for happiness and fulfillment. By developing the faith to truly seek God's will, I've been able to let go of controlling others, to show up and look for ways to be of service, and to let go of expectations.

And doing this has enabled me to see that, "Things aren't necessarily going wrong just because they're not going my way."

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Wisdom of the Rooms

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Mon, 12 May 2008 00:17:00 +0000

"Without tolerance for another, it's hard to have empathy for myself"

Tolerant was one of the last words you would have used to describe me before I entered the program. Instead, I was quick to judge you and could always find fault with what you said, or how you dressed, or what you did. My opinion of myself was so low that I constantly had to rip you down to build myself up. Living this way made me bitter, isolated and resentful.

As I listed my resentments in my fourth step, and more importantly my part, I began to see how much my fear and low self-esteem drove my decisions and actions, hurting both myself and others. But as I listened to others sharing honestly and openly about their struggles and fears, I began to feel a connection, and for the first time an empathy for others.

I once read a description of empathy as being an emotional echo that is sent out to the inner center of another person and that returns with pieces of yourself. And once I began finding pieces of myself in other people's stories, I began to look for the shared humanity in our experiences. And that's when I began to develop tolerance and compassion for others as well as for myself.

Today I understand that without tolerance for another, it's hard to have empathy for myself.

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Reflection for the Day

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Sat, 10 May 2008 02:36:00 +0000

Energy Follows Focus, So Whatever You Focus On, That Is What Will Happen !!!

"Perfect courage," wrote La Rochefocauld, "means doing unwitnessed what we would be capable of with the world looking on."

As we grow in the Gamblers Anonymous Program, we recognize persistent fear for what it is, and we become able to handle it. We begin to see each adversity as a God-given opportunity to develop the kind of courage that is born of humility, rather than of bravado.

Do I realize that whistling to keep up my courage is merely good pratice for whistling?

Today I Pray

May I find courage in my Higher Power. Since all things are possible through God, I must be able to overcome the insidious fears that haunt me - so often fears of losing someone or something that has become important in my life.

I pray for my own willingness to let go of those fears.

Today I Will Remember

Praying is more than whistling in the dark.

TODAY IS THE TIME FOR ACTION

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Sat, 10 May 2008 02:16:00 +0000

You must be ready when opportunity comes before you.
Luck is the time when your preparation and opportunity meet.
There is a tide in your affairs, which, when taken at the flood, will lead you on to fortune and success.

By the law of periodical repetition, everything which has happened once must happen again and again and again, not capriciously, but at regular periods,
and each thing in it's own period, and each obeying its own law.

As events tend to repeat themselves, the tide of opportunity will come to you.
Be prepared and your chance for success is sure to come.
Look around you. Seize an opportunity to change your life.

You can change chance into good fortune if you are ready.
The only sure thing about your luck is that it will change.

********************************
©2006 by Max Steingart
Reproduce freely but maintain © notice
**************************************************************

Something to think about

noreply@blogger.com (LindaH) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 00:09:00 +0000

Gambling addicts don't keep playing because they like the feeling when they win, so much as they hope to win to get rid of the feeling that comes when they lose.